Can it be that more than two months have passed since my last post? It never ceases to amaze me how November and December seem to fly by! My latest theory pins blame on the 4:30pm Seattle winter sunsets…but enough kvetching about daylight in this northern latitude! Onward!
My purpose here is to blog about Sonja Lyubomirsky’s “The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want”. True, it’s not a new book. That said, it nevertheless offers some good food for thought. (Surf over here to check out the book’s website.)
Lyubomirsky’s conceptual starting point is that we desire a set of circumstances–a life packed with beauty, wealth and/or fun times–because we think that’ll make us happy. In fact, based on the research she cites, only 10% of our happiness comes from circumstances. On the other hand, 40% of our happiness comes from intentional activity on our part. Put another way, our behavior determines four times as much of our happiness as our circumstances do!
I’m going to gloss over the heart of the book and instead encourage you to just read it. You yourself have to figure out what combination of Lyuomirsky’s dozen happiness activities are likely to make you happy. The punchline for this post is the importance of one of the five “hows” of happiness: the “how” of motivation, effort and commitment. Lyubomirsky stresses the following as being important to happiness:
- You must resolve to undertake a program to become happier.
- You must learn what you need to do.
- You must put weekly or even daily effort into it.
- You must commit to the goal for a long period of time, possibly for the rest of your life.
Of course, while Lyubomirsky lists these steps in service of a happiness program, they apply to any effort for change. That’s why I thought of my financial coaching clients when I read this. These steps are critical to moving past financial pain points and moving on to financial well-being. As I write this now, I’m wondering about how to incorporate these steps into my coaching in an explicit-but-not-obnoxious way. It’s worth following these steps, don’t you think, even if money doesn’t buy happiness?